Annie, unable to get into the cabinet since I welded it shut (with a plastic child-lock), decided to hunt elsewhere for snacks today. While I was out writing at an air-conditioned Starbucks, Lauren and the kids went to the lake to be with her sister and nephews. Annie, who apparently had not been sufficiently fed – or perhaps entertained – still needed her snacks. A girl’s got to eat after all.
Being at war with a hyperactive 100 pound juvenile ferret makes us do things that other people might find odd. For example whenever Lauren leaves the house, she puts the kitchen trash can in the bathroom, and the fruit bowl in the microwave. That may seem strange in your house, but I assure you that it is quite normal in our little corner of the Newfy asylum.
Upon Lauren’s return from the lake, she discovered Guinness happily munching on a peach pit. What the Hell? But the fruit bowl is… empty on the counter. It didn’t even look like it had been moved.
We’re still unsure about Guinness’ role in all of this. He was found with a peach pit, so he is at least an accessory to fruit theft, but it’s possible that he simply found it when everyone came upstairs. I think we might need to set up the old Newf-Cam again.
Today’s score from the monochromatic bandit was five apples and a peach. There were no remains to be identified from the apple family. The peach pit was given a proper burial… in the bathroom where the kitchen trash remains.
There is a large kitchen sized trash can in our bathroom. It’s not that we have large trash-can needs in our bathroom – far from it. What we have is a trash security problem.
Many years ago we bought a very nice stainless steel trash can for the kitchen. This wonderful container cost over $100, and has a spring-loaded latching lid. In order to open it, you push down on the top which then pops up under its own power. When you close it, it latches closed. It is an engineering work of art that serves a necessary purpose in our house. (more…)
Today, as usual, I spent some time at my local Starbucks to enjoy a tripple espresso con-panna and to write. While I enjoy writing at home, the distractions are many. Between children, dogs and the ubiquitous toys of my many hobbies, I simply cannot focus on what I’m writing long enough to finish a complete thought. Why as I was trying to write the last sentence my eight year old walked in to tell me about the latest development in her Wii game. Of course she isn’t to blame for my short attention span, but I digress.
At any rate, today after writing about my Cozy, I came home to an empty house and two happy dogs. After petting them I walked upstairs to discover what looked like snow all over the floor. Since it’s August, I cleverly deduced that it couldn’t be snow, and as I got closer I noticed a destroyed box of mashed potato mix. I also found popcorn, some wrappers and a bra. I’m not sure how the bra was related to the mess, but it caught my attention none-the-less since being a man, I am helpless in the presence of a bra to do anything but stare.
I knew at once that Annie had been here. Who else would have caused such wanton destruction of foodstuffs? Certainly not Guinness. Annie was the puppy in the house, and though now over a year old, was still the prime suspect in this crime. She had a known history of plundering food stores. She had previously been found guilty of eating whole avocados and bananas right from the counter. Turning to look, I saw that Annie had come up to the landing and was sitting there looking at me with her head hung low. She exuded guilt. I gave her my best disapproving voice, Annie what have you done. Her head hung even lower.
When Lauren and the kids got home, and I came in from mowing, I commented on how Annie needs a hobby, and how we need child locks again. It was a happy day when we finally removed all the child locks. Years of fancy finger work to open the cabinets and drawers were finally behind us. That is, until now.
Guinness, who loves Lauren most, was sitting by her enjoying the cool breeze from the open sliding door. The screen, long since destroyed by Annie leaned uselessly against the outside wall. As I leaned down to pat Guinness’ head, I moved in close to tell him what a good boy he was. That’s when I noticed little flecks on his nose – little flecks of mashed potato mix.
It would seem that there’s more to this crime than I first expected. I think a full inquiry is in order.
So Annie is keeping us busy. She’s still trying to figure out her place in the new house. She’s still not sure where she’s allowed to go, but she learns quickly. In fact some things she learns so quickly it’s frightning – especially when you consider this; if she can learn so quickly, then surely she knows what’s right, and often chooses to ignore it.
A case in point:
The little one, age seven, made herself a bagel with cream cheese. She, being seven, happily wandered off with the cream cheese still on the counter.
A few minutes later I happened to go upstairs where I discovered an empty cream cheese container on the living room floor. It was perfectly clean like we had used it for something else, which I thought was odd, because we don’t often do that. I pick it up, look at the counter, and quickly figure out what happened. Little miss counter-nose grabbed it and had a feast. When I looked at her, she slunk away with possibly the most guilty expression I’d ever seen. When I went towards her, she slunk into another room.
If she’s learned one thing early on, it’s that I’m the alpha male. She knew the alpha-male boomy voice saying “Bad Girl” was coming. She knew it was wrong, yet she did it anyway. Interestingly enough, she didn’t eat the jar of peanut butter on the other side of the counter left by the nine year-old.
Annie doesn’t need nearly as much training as the two-legged variety it would seem.
After she got over her guilt, she discovered that the cream cheese container made the most WONDERFUL toy! When it was upside-down on the floor, she couldn’t quite pick it up, and every time she tried, it would bounce out of her mouth across the floor. She played with it for hours before we took it away afraid that she would cut the plastic. Made me remember Cozy playing with empty soda bottles at about this age.
Just had to share this one. This is Annie, asleep in her crate. She sleeps with her eyes open, but her third eyelid closed. Her right third eyelid is red, and she looks demonic when she sleeps.
Lauren was cleaning and found a piece of a banana stem where there should be one. She went to check on the bananas in the bowl on the counter. Can you guess what she saw?
No bananas.
The entire bunch is gone. Nothing else disturbed on the counter, and no other signs of the tasty fruit to be found. The bananas are hard for the kids to reach, let alone a big dog who thinks she’s a cat. I seriously cannot imagine how she could reach them without destroying everything else on the counter.
You want to know why there’s no updates? Because we spend all out time watching Annie. She is, to put it delicately, mischievous.
Lauren says she’s “naughty”.
I say she’s EVIL!
A partial list of things she’s destroyed thus far:
A Wii controller
Numerous carboard boxes
A beloved Nintendo DS-Lite game
A beloved book
Another beloved book
A camera case (for small cameras)
Numerous water bottles
A bicycle helmet
A “wedding bear” from our wedding (15 years old)
etc.
She has figured out how to open the “dog proof” garbage, and enjoys searching for treasures while were not home – and sometimes when we are!
She doesn’t just put her nose on the counter, she jumps right up and digs in.
She ate ALL of the Valentine’s Day chocolate I got for my kids. She was fine. BTW she had to get on the counter, then open three containers, then foil wrappers to get to the goods.
BTW she acted like a LUNATIC for about four hours thereafter. She was like the road-runner on speed.
She knows the rules. She simply ignores them. She’s jumped up on the counter right next to Lauren while she’s cooking. She’s grabbed for the expensive universal remote while I was watching. She gives me this look of complete disdain from time to time as if to say “I know you won’t beat me, so &%*#-you.”
She is LOADED with personality. She’ll walk by me and just jam her nose into me – for fun. She runs circles around poor Grimace, and bites his ankles when he’s not playing.
She is a 100% certified pain in the ass, and we love her to pieces.
We’re trying to come up with something to get her mind more engaged, because she’s clearly bored. I told Lauren that we should let her do crosswords…
Annie had a wonderful Thanksgiving at the in-laws house.
There she met new friends the crazy labs Molly and Mo
ose. Molly and Moose are flight risks, so not only do they have a normal chain link fence, they have an invisible fence perimeter within the physical fence. Annie quickly learned that if she ran to the physical fence, the other dogs would just stand at the invisible fence and bark. Clever girl 🙂
Annie and her friends enjoyed some wonderful leftovers, and Annie slept like a log when she got home. Before we could leave though, we had to take care of something.
Here is a picture of pretty Miss Annie before… the hosing.
Annie was curled up on the floor near Lauren as Lauren checked her email. Without a thought I went outside to get Annie’s crate so I could set it up in the bedroom. I pushed the button for the garage door opener and was startled by WOOF! WOOF! WOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOF!!!!!!!
This girl has not made a sound except for a bit of a whimper, and out comes this bark! I’m impressed. I love a loud Newfie. I don’t care if they lick burglers and home invaders and other ne’er-do-wells, but I want my dogs to put the fear of God into anyone who tries to come inside.
We gave her heaps of praise after being flabbergasted.
She’s here maybe two hours and she’s protecting the pack.
